• Allie Atkinson

The Start of Something New!

I've been a Mummy for five years now and I still feel like I'm trying to find my feet in this 'new role' of mine. You would think by now I'd have got it down to a fine art but actually I find that the role of motherhood is constantly changing and challenging the relationship I have with myself.

But this blog isn't about sharing my daily struggles with the Mount Everest washing pile on my landing or the bizarre things my kiddies get up to (although I could probably write a book on those haha)... but this is about going deeper than that.

This is about discussing some of the experiences and deep feelings we often avoid talking about, either out of some belief that we need to keep them hidden away to appear strong or because they are painful to write about and share with others. But as a mum who has had difficult experiences and a turbulent relationship with myself since becoming a Mummy, I do believe that we need to share our true authentic thoughts and feelings when the challenging times appear.

Gosh, I would have loved to have read about a Mummy who felt responsible when their child was born poorly, or that her body had failed somehow when she wasn't able to breastfeed. To read about a Mama who had felt the same way I had would have carried a lot of power... if only to normalise my feelings and reduce the shame that came with having them.

Motherhood can be a lonely time, particularly when going through a challenging phase, whatever that may look like. Sometimes just knowing that another Mama has been through it too can offer a token of comfort and strength to keep going and accept whatever you are feeling, its ok.

The fact is Mamas, we all have struggles throughout motherhood. There are circumstances and events that test us, push us and sometimes break us. We have a tendency to pretend we are ok for the sake of holding it together, whilst secretly we may be feeling quite the opposite.

I may not have experienced exactly the same circumstances as you, but the reaction and the process could be similar. You may agree with me, you may not. That's ok, parenting creates a lot of split opinions. I'm just one mama, and this is just my viewpoint. I don't have all of the answers, far from it. I'm still learning to manage my own mental health issues whilst balancing the needs of my children. Some days I think I have it nailed, others I cry whilst attempting to read the bedtime story to my children, exhausted from the constant merry go-round and ashamed that I can't be one of those mums that 'never complains, never wants anything for herself'.

But I do think that motherhood is a journey and sometimes we all need a little support from the wider mama community along the way. I hope that I can offer a fragment of that here.